FUCKING WEEDS!

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

All motorcycles go down. It happens to everyone. I think like most, I didn't really think it would happen to me.

And now, as I sit here writing this entry from a wheelchair, I realize how arrogant I was...

Ok... that was an exaggeration... I'm not sitting in a wheelchair, but I easily could be!

I have a friend who races his bike from time to time. A few days ago he and I were discussing this road where all the hotshots hang out and do their riding. "Lime Creek Road..." he explained, "is not for the timid or the newbies! Make sure you lemme know before you go out there."

I'm not timid, but I definitely qualify as a newbie and so as I was riding around yesterday afternoon I got the wild hair up my ass to go take a look for myself.

No... I didn't call him.

It's definitely not for the timid or the newbies...

This stretch of blacktop winds it's way in a series of single-laned, tight, blind curves through Volente where it ends up at Anderson Mill road. The first time, I took it nice and easy. I just eased my way around each curve and tried to get the feel of it.

It's like the first time you ever have sex with someone... you know.. you know don't really know her body... you just wanna kinda go easy and make sure there aren't any weird bumps or pot-holes or anything like that.

So anyway, I did fine the first time out, and as I came to the end, I noticed about 37 bikes all parked on the side of the road. The riders were standing there, chitty chatting and whatnot. As I went past, a couple people took off going the way I had come from.

I turned myself around and went back for another shot. This time, I noticed a couple bikes behind me. The pressure was on.

I knew I had to balance the adrenaline rush I was getting w/the fact that I just don't know how to ride curves very fast. As I approached each curve, I took a nice, slow, relaxed, deep breath and let it out.

It's like the first time you ever have sex with someone... you know... it's like you can't believe it's happening and you're afraid if you get to into it too much, too quickly, something might happen to bring it all screeching to a halt... so you try to control your breath and stay relaxed...

So anyway, I'm going around these twisties, and I can feel these guys behind me. I can tell they wanna go faster but there's no way I can push it any harder. I just don't have the skills. Finally, as we are approaching the last curve I decide to open it up a little bit more. I twist on the throttle and ease into it, only to find I'm already in the oncoming lane!

I don't remember how fast I was going in this last curve. I figure it was around 50 or 55 or something. What I do remember was thinking, "Oh shit... I gotta get out of here!" I figured an oncoming car might be just around the other side of this thing and it was gonna suck to meet it head-on.

I made the decision to head directly toward the wall in front of me rather than take the time to get back into my own lane. I figured I might just have enough time to come to a stop before hitting the wall. Basically, I was right! I was able to get the bike down to a crawl and was thinking it was all good when...

It's like when you're having sex and ...

I fell over.

My front tire dropped into a little ditch on the shoulder about 5 feet from the wall I had been trying not to hit and my bike literally just fell over w/me on it.

The guys who had been coming behind me stopped and helped me up. I had a scraped hand and torn jeans. Other than that, I was fine. The bike has a dented tank and a bent rear brake pedal..

Once the guys knew I was okay, they started talking to each other...

"Too eager... "
"Yeah... First timers... "

I thanked them and got back on the bike. It was weird. I didn't feel shaky or nervous. I guess I just felt a little embarassed. I really wanted to slink away. But something told me it was the wrong move. How was I going to maintain any self-respect if I left at that point?

It's like when you have sex with someone for the first time... sometimes it doesn't go the way you want it to. "Too eager... First timers... chuckle chuckle... snicker snicker..." If you sneak away... don't call back... don't try to make it right... it's gonna make it worse the next time... It's better to just shake it off and try again.

So, I turned the bike around, climbed back on, started it up, and headed back for another go. I took it that 3rd time w/o incident and was able to ride home knowing Lime Creek had not conquered me.

GT for the children

Today at lunch we were talking about various and sundry items of disinterest. I was basically saying whatever came to my head, per usual. At one point someone asked if I envisioned myself where I am today when I was 21ish.... Answer? "nope... didn't think I'd be alive..." and that's basically the truth.

I was on a collision course w/either death or prison and at that point I really didn't see a way past either one. It didn't matter how smart I was, I just couldn't seem to make choices that moved me in a better direction.

I think about my children and wonder what kinds of issues they will encounter as they grow up? Will Hannah have enough of a center to take care of herself as the guys sniff around and paw at her? Will Ben be able to contain his impatience with the world?

We recently found out that Ben has been admitted into the GT (Gifted/Talented) program at his school. Tina was ecstatic. I was ummm... I don't know what I was... I know this much... I was thinking more about Hannah and found myself second-guessing our decision not to have her screened for the program.

I called my mother and explained what I was thinking about to her and so she reminded me of the reasons Tina had wanted to wait with Hannah. She was basically thinking that Hannah would do better when she has a different teacher. She really doesn't like her current teach and Tina didn't want to load her down w/the stress of testing in such a situation.

Keep in mind we are talking about kindergarteners...

I guess my main fear is that one way or another Hannah will not be accepted into the program once we finally do test her. How might she feel about such a thing?

My sister was in a a GT program when we were kids. She always excelled in school. I never did. I don't remember ever thinking she was smarter than me. I've always known I was smart.

In the end, I turned into a dysfunctional alchoholic.

Apparently that happens to alot of smart people.

OH DEAR SWEET GOD IN HEAVEN

So my bud Terry tells me he's gonna write a contributing post to the blog. I'm like, "let's setup one of those group blogs" He's like, "Yeah whatever... you'll post my blog entry on your blog site and you'll like it.... So I'm like... "yeah whatever... not gonna happen."

So here's Terry's blog entry. He's right. I'm gonna post it...


Contributing Writer Post

Yep, that's right…CW here. Why? Well, because Mr. Leben doesn't seem to have the tenacity to stick with writing good posts. Instead we get the lame ‘ol "Vanilla Sky" post preceeded by the "Oh no someone died bleh bleh bleh" post. Ok, so what else could possibly top Vanilla Sky posts? Well, technically everything from a post on the Importance of the Wiggles in a child’s life to How to Sharpen a Pencil with a knife"....but I have yet another in mind, sorry to disappoint.

Race Captains for the Water Safari. So Mr. Leben is going to race this year again and is once again on the team captain recruiter trail. He has several options but I had volunteered to be one of his captains. In my mind, this honorary position is simple, if you are 1) responsible 2) a go getter and 3) crazy and for some reason excited about helping Mr. Leben win again. I am 2 outta the three. Well, I happen to be responsible and a go getter and yet I don’t give a shit about Mr. Leben winning.....just teasing. So I offered to help. I figured I could take a Monday/Tues off and spend my Friday through Tuesday helping him helping him with his portages. Traditionally the point in which you get some water, repairs, etc et al. How hard could this be? I mean most teams have their wives do it or a friend but usually these people are not CPA’s (Certified Portage Asshats), they are just run of the mill volunteers that have some sort of familiarity with the race. So Dave then says that the person he wants must travel to different locations and "practice" handing water to them. I can see the point of practicing handing water to them but I suggested we do it at like town lake or somewhere close to where we can get there fairly quickly. Well, no sooner did I say that then they closed Legoland in Europe, The rose ansunami waters dried up and a huge hole in the ground opened up with flames from hell as the phoenix d "OH NO! Mr. Leben COULDNT HAVE THAT!". ...it HAAAAAD to be in the EXACT SPOT that the acual WATER TRANSFER would take place. *rolls eyes*.....should I be surprised? I mean I should have expected him to say, "And we want you to not sleep for 2 days and do the transfer at 4am so we have realistic working conditions as well".

I guess from my standpoint I just don’t see a point in driving somewhere 1.5 hours away from where I live to be in an exact location to test my manual dexterity. Maybe he’s right. Maybe it’s important for us to know the exact PLACE he will pull into so I can be standing in the EXACT spot. But ya know, you cannot plan for that anyway. Who knows the water conditions, what will be going through their minds. Who knows if I’ll have to take a leak and I will be behind a bush making friends with mosquitoes when they pull in, only to run out one hand with their water bottle and the other wiping up from an otherwise enjoyable crap.

But you know what, regardless of what I think, he is going to have it his way. Why? Because someone screwed up and gave Mr. Leben a job about 13 years ago and he has somehow taken his luck in surviving years of employment as validation of his decision making abilities. IM JOKING SETTLE DOWN ya bunch of CPAs.

Seriously, though. I have no hope. I have no hope of figuring this out, getting Dave’s by-in on a close location. So then I thought. Fine, tell ya what. Why doesn’t he get a team captain that fits his bill and I will come along for the ride. I will help carry supplies, read boats, keep track of whats what and otherwise learn from what I see, hear and experience. Then maybe I can get a greater appreciation for the race, what the CPA’s have to do and maybe then, MAYBE, I will agree with Mr. Leben.

But I’m not wiping the turds off the waterbottles if he arrives when I’m in the bushes.

CW out- g’night folks!

So there you go... that's his post... Why did I put it up there? I'll tell you why... One reason and one reason only...

GROW A PAIR TERRY!!!! BE OUR TEAM CAPTAIN AND PRACTICE HANDING OFF THE WATER WHERE WE WANT IT HANDED OFF WHEN WE WANTED IT HANDED OFF THE WAY WE WANT IT HANDED OFF.

This is shaping up to be a fine race-season!

Vanilla Coke

So we don't yet know why Hunter S. Thompson died. But I can tell you this... He may well have drank a Vanilla Coke just before pulling the trigger.

I just accidentally got hold of one at lunch and I want to kill myself.

Fair Well Dr Thompson...

I was saddened to hear of the death of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson this weekend. I had just found his column on Page 2 of ESPN.com and it seems ironic that the first column I ever read of his was to be his last.

I'm really interested to know if he wrote anything regarding his reasons. I knew he was weird but I never thought he was depressed or anything.

Maybe he was sick? Maybe he was into the Mob for too much money? Anyway... It sucks...