People who use paper towels...

...to open the bathroom door as they leave a public restroom are funny to me. I guess I just don't get it. After all, don't you think that guy who didn't wash his hands after he got done wiping might just run right on over to the printer and run his feces-covered digits all over it? And what about those towells? They live in the bathroom! Those towel holders are not at all air tight. I'm sure fecal matter makes it's way in there and settles on the surface of the paper. I'm sure many of you who suffer from this affliction don't hesitate to put your mouth upon your lover's genitals.

Or maybe you don't.

My suggestion is for all you obsessive-compulsive anal-retentive bed-wetters out there to just relax and open the bathroom door. Just... Relax... That's right... just calm down... there you go... nice... see? Isn't that nice?

So much better than thinking about how dirty everything is... Let's think nice clean thoughts instead... Let's not think about that smelly bastard who just walked out of the stall (w/that funny bad-wipe walk) and went straight for the door... Let's not think about how he just used that hand to apply a wad of toilet tissue to his anus and then put that same hand on the door handle and walked out without even so much as a thought about your welfare. Let's not think about the germs... the diseases...

Let's not think about the teeming masses of humanity who settle in their own squalor and barely keep their bug-infested heads above the putrid waters of their chaotic...

[pause]

Sorry... I had to puke.

All I'm saying is that I'm not sure you are really doing yourself any favors by using the towels to open the bathroom door.

But hey.. if it helps you sleep better at night...