The Current Picture

In my last update, I closed with a hope that I'd provide a snapshot of our current financial picture. I've read a couple financial blogs lately, and I'm amazed at how many personal details people give out about their finances. I tend to be somewhat suspicous by nature and have decided it would run against my grain to provide too many details regarding our financial picture.

I think it will be a fair compromise if I use percentages to describe everything. We'll see how that works out and then adjust later on if necessary.

Before I provide even that level of detail, I will tell you a dog peed on my leg while I was waiting with my children at their school bus stop this morning.

It reminds me that unexpected things do happen. Sometimes they are bad and sometimes they are good. Perhaps this bad thing happened at the bus stop so as to balance out the good thing that happened this weekend when Tina and I had our weekly financial meeting. She finally came to the realization that we have a bad cash-flow problem. She came to this conclusion after arriving to the meeting equipped with a list of budget categories and associated numbers.

I have been asking for this for two months! I'm learning again and again that Tina and I have different perspectives on the whole timeline portion of this exercise. We are going to have to get past that in order to be successful.

In anycase, it was a very good thing she came at long last prepared to our meeting and walked away informed of our cash-flow situation.

Here's the snapshot:

But before I do, one other side note:

My daughter found a tarantula the other day. Tina bought an aquarium and some crickets (non-budgeted expenditures) . She put the spider and the crickets in there and the hideous creature went about the good work of eating all but one of them. This last little die-hard cricket has been chirping his ass of for the last 2 nights. I imagine the spider is wishing he was hungry enough to eat the last cricket. I know I wish he were.

If he doesn't eat it soon, I will.

Okay... here it is...

1. We have a list of short, medium and long term financial goals. (To be shared later)
2. A list of comittments (To be shared later)
3. A plan for the short term
4. A budget for the rest of the year (in the works)
5. A budget for 2006 (in the works)
6. Weekly meetings to discuss and adjust. We use these to review the week's spending and to plan our spending for the coming week.
7. Our tools include Quicken 2006, Excel spreadsheets, Quicken Bill Pay and Quicken Web Entry

That's it for now. Please stay tuned for more. Once I've plugged the numbers in, I'll provide a percentage-based view of our spending relative to the spending itself and to our income.

That last part may or may not mean anything intelligent.

I'll have to see after I do the math.

Change of Direction

Well, after about 5 minutes of careful thought, and a heavy measure of impulsivity, I've decided to change the direction of this blog. I'm going to keep the look and feel and just move it on over to a different focus.

Previously, I limited my writing to those times when I thought I had something funny, outrageous, obnoxious or otherwise sensational to say. I've found those times to be limited, in large part by my mood. It's difficult to write anything funny when you feel homicidal.

Some of the reason I feel homicidal is because our family finances have been very undisciplined. Neither Tina nor myself grew up with any concept of how to manage money, and though we've stumbled on the "how to do it" of personal finance management for years, we've never put any of it into practice for any length of time.

Now we are back at it, and it has not been easy. We are starting with a budget, a list of goals (short term, medium term, long term) and a list of comittments. We try to have weekly meetings where we go over the spending and make adjustments to our plans.

Thus far, the going has been tough. Lot's of fighting and heavy duty emotion. It's not easy to change the habits of a lifetime. In anycase, nobody is dead yet and so we continue.

I will be changing the focus of this blog to document our efforts to get our finances under control. One of my less desireable character traits is my lack of 'sticktoitedness'. I hope updating this blog with details of the endeavors will keep me interested long enough to instill the changes we make as habits.

Stand by for more. In my next post, I hope to give a snapshot of the current picture and to provide some information regarding our next steps...

Blog Maintenance

So, after having been away for a few mos, I've come back to the blog... I removed the Control Bloggers section. Kendall's blog was the only one listed and after a careful review, she seems to have corrected her control-freak tendencies, at least insofar as her blog is concerned.

I'd like to move her blog to the sexy bloggers section but she and I had such a run-in earlier that I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.

Speaking of control bloggers, I'd like to add a section for out of control bloggers. I'd put my wife's blog in their if she had one.

She's definitely out of control.

FUCKING WEEDS!

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

All motorcycles go down. It happens to everyone. I think like most, I didn't really think it would happen to me.

And now, as I sit here writing this entry from a wheelchair, I realize how arrogant I was...

Ok... that was an exaggeration... I'm not sitting in a wheelchair, but I easily could be!

I have a friend who races his bike from time to time. A few days ago he and I were discussing this road where all the hotshots hang out and do their riding. "Lime Creek Road..." he explained, "is not for the timid or the newbies! Make sure you lemme know before you go out there."

I'm not timid, but I definitely qualify as a newbie and so as I was riding around yesterday afternoon I got the wild hair up my ass to go take a look for myself.

No... I didn't call him.

It's definitely not for the timid or the newbies...

This stretch of blacktop winds it's way in a series of single-laned, tight, blind curves through Volente where it ends up at Anderson Mill road. The first time, I took it nice and easy. I just eased my way around each curve and tried to get the feel of it.

It's like the first time you ever have sex with someone... you know.. you know don't really know her body... you just wanna kinda go easy and make sure there aren't any weird bumps or pot-holes or anything like that.

So anyway, I did fine the first time out, and as I came to the end, I noticed about 37 bikes all parked on the side of the road. The riders were standing there, chitty chatting and whatnot. As I went past, a couple people took off going the way I had come from.

I turned myself around and went back for another shot. This time, I noticed a couple bikes behind me. The pressure was on.

I knew I had to balance the adrenaline rush I was getting w/the fact that I just don't know how to ride curves very fast. As I approached each curve, I took a nice, slow, relaxed, deep breath and let it out.

It's like the first time you ever have sex with someone... you know... it's like you can't believe it's happening and you're afraid if you get to into it too much, too quickly, something might happen to bring it all screeching to a halt... so you try to control your breath and stay relaxed...

So anyway, I'm going around these twisties, and I can feel these guys behind me. I can tell they wanna go faster but there's no way I can push it any harder. I just don't have the skills. Finally, as we are approaching the last curve I decide to open it up a little bit more. I twist on the throttle and ease into it, only to find I'm already in the oncoming lane!

I don't remember how fast I was going in this last curve. I figure it was around 50 or 55 or something. What I do remember was thinking, "Oh shit... I gotta get out of here!" I figured an oncoming car might be just around the other side of this thing and it was gonna suck to meet it head-on.

I made the decision to head directly toward the wall in front of me rather than take the time to get back into my own lane. I figured I might just have enough time to come to a stop before hitting the wall. Basically, I was right! I was able to get the bike down to a crawl and was thinking it was all good when...

It's like when you're having sex and ...

I fell over.

My front tire dropped into a little ditch on the shoulder about 5 feet from the wall I had been trying not to hit and my bike literally just fell over w/me on it.

The guys who had been coming behind me stopped and helped me up. I had a scraped hand and torn jeans. Other than that, I was fine. The bike has a dented tank and a bent rear brake pedal..

Once the guys knew I was okay, they started talking to each other...

"Too eager... "
"Yeah... First timers... "

I thanked them and got back on the bike. It was weird. I didn't feel shaky or nervous. I guess I just felt a little embarassed. I really wanted to slink away. But something told me it was the wrong move. How was I going to maintain any self-respect if I left at that point?

It's like when you have sex with someone for the first time... sometimes it doesn't go the way you want it to. "Too eager... First timers... chuckle chuckle... snicker snicker..." If you sneak away... don't call back... don't try to make it right... it's gonna make it worse the next time... It's better to just shake it off and try again.

So, I turned the bike around, climbed back on, started it up, and headed back for another go. I took it that 3rd time w/o incident and was able to ride home knowing Lime Creek had not conquered me.

GT for the children

Today at lunch we were talking about various and sundry items of disinterest. I was basically saying whatever came to my head, per usual. At one point someone asked if I envisioned myself where I am today when I was 21ish.... Answer? "nope... didn't think I'd be alive..." and that's basically the truth.

I was on a collision course w/either death or prison and at that point I really didn't see a way past either one. It didn't matter how smart I was, I just couldn't seem to make choices that moved me in a better direction.

I think about my children and wonder what kinds of issues they will encounter as they grow up? Will Hannah have enough of a center to take care of herself as the guys sniff around and paw at her? Will Ben be able to contain his impatience with the world?

We recently found out that Ben has been admitted into the GT (Gifted/Talented) program at his school. Tina was ecstatic. I was ummm... I don't know what I was... I know this much... I was thinking more about Hannah and found myself second-guessing our decision not to have her screened for the program.

I called my mother and explained what I was thinking about to her and so she reminded me of the reasons Tina had wanted to wait with Hannah. She was basically thinking that Hannah would do better when she has a different teacher. She really doesn't like her current teach and Tina didn't want to load her down w/the stress of testing in such a situation.

Keep in mind we are talking about kindergarteners...

I guess my main fear is that one way or another Hannah will not be accepted into the program once we finally do test her. How might she feel about such a thing?

My sister was in a a GT program when we were kids. She always excelled in school. I never did. I don't remember ever thinking she was smarter than me. I've always known I was smart.

In the end, I turned into a dysfunctional alchoholic.

Apparently that happens to alot of smart people.

OH DEAR SWEET GOD IN HEAVEN

So my bud Terry tells me he's gonna write a contributing post to the blog. I'm like, "let's setup one of those group blogs" He's like, "Yeah whatever... you'll post my blog entry on your blog site and you'll like it.... So I'm like... "yeah whatever... not gonna happen."

So here's Terry's blog entry. He's right. I'm gonna post it...


Contributing Writer Post

Yep, that's right…CW here. Why? Well, because Mr. Leben doesn't seem to have the tenacity to stick with writing good posts. Instead we get the lame ‘ol "Vanilla Sky" post preceeded by the "Oh no someone died bleh bleh bleh" post. Ok, so what else could possibly top Vanilla Sky posts? Well, technically everything from a post on the Importance of the Wiggles in a child’s life to How to Sharpen a Pencil with a knife"....but I have yet another in mind, sorry to disappoint.

Race Captains for the Water Safari. So Mr. Leben is going to race this year again and is once again on the team captain recruiter trail. He has several options but I had volunteered to be one of his captains. In my mind, this honorary position is simple, if you are 1) responsible 2) a go getter and 3) crazy and for some reason excited about helping Mr. Leben win again. I am 2 outta the three. Well, I happen to be responsible and a go getter and yet I don’t give a shit about Mr. Leben winning.....just teasing. So I offered to help. I figured I could take a Monday/Tues off and spend my Friday through Tuesday helping him helping him with his portages. Traditionally the point in which you get some water, repairs, etc et al. How hard could this be? I mean most teams have their wives do it or a friend but usually these people are not CPA’s (Certified Portage Asshats), they are just run of the mill volunteers that have some sort of familiarity with the race. So Dave then says that the person he wants must travel to different locations and "practice" handing water to them. I can see the point of practicing handing water to them but I suggested we do it at like town lake or somewhere close to where we can get there fairly quickly. Well, no sooner did I say that then they closed Legoland in Europe, The rose ansunami waters dried up and a huge hole in the ground opened up with flames from hell as the phoenix d "OH NO! Mr. Leben COULDNT HAVE THAT!". ...it HAAAAAD to be in the EXACT SPOT that the acual WATER TRANSFER would take place. *rolls eyes*.....should I be surprised? I mean I should have expected him to say, "And we want you to not sleep for 2 days and do the transfer at 4am so we have realistic working conditions as well".

I guess from my standpoint I just don’t see a point in driving somewhere 1.5 hours away from where I live to be in an exact location to test my manual dexterity. Maybe he’s right. Maybe it’s important for us to know the exact PLACE he will pull into so I can be standing in the EXACT spot. But ya know, you cannot plan for that anyway. Who knows the water conditions, what will be going through their minds. Who knows if I’ll have to take a leak and I will be behind a bush making friends with mosquitoes when they pull in, only to run out one hand with their water bottle and the other wiping up from an otherwise enjoyable crap.

But you know what, regardless of what I think, he is going to have it his way. Why? Because someone screwed up and gave Mr. Leben a job about 13 years ago and he has somehow taken his luck in surviving years of employment as validation of his decision making abilities. IM JOKING SETTLE DOWN ya bunch of CPAs.

Seriously, though. I have no hope. I have no hope of figuring this out, getting Dave’s by-in on a close location. So then I thought. Fine, tell ya what. Why doesn’t he get a team captain that fits his bill and I will come along for the ride. I will help carry supplies, read boats, keep track of whats what and otherwise learn from what I see, hear and experience. Then maybe I can get a greater appreciation for the race, what the CPA’s have to do and maybe then, MAYBE, I will agree with Mr. Leben.

But I’m not wiping the turds off the waterbottles if he arrives when I’m in the bushes.

CW out- g’night folks!

So there you go... that's his post... Why did I put it up there? I'll tell you why... One reason and one reason only...

GROW A PAIR TERRY!!!! BE OUR TEAM CAPTAIN AND PRACTICE HANDING OFF THE WATER WHERE WE WANT IT HANDED OFF WHEN WE WANTED IT HANDED OFF THE WAY WE WANT IT HANDED OFF.

This is shaping up to be a fine race-season!

Vanilla Coke

So we don't yet know why Hunter S. Thompson died. But I can tell you this... He may well have drank a Vanilla Coke just before pulling the trigger.

I just accidentally got hold of one at lunch and I want to kill myself.

Fair Well Dr Thompson...

I was saddened to hear of the death of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson this weekend. I had just found his column on Page 2 of ESPN.com and it seems ironic that the first column I ever read of his was to be his last.

I'm really interested to know if he wrote anything regarding his reasons. I knew he was weird but I never thought he was depressed or anything.

Maybe he was sick? Maybe he was into the Mob for too much money? Anyway... It sucks...

Got Traffic Tickets?

If not, come talk to me, cuz I have plenty of them.

In fact, I have appear to have accrued approximately 2600 dollars (US) worth of traffic violations since 2003. I say approximately because I don't yet know what all of the attorneys fees, Defensive Driving fees and Deferred Adjudication fees will cost me. Also, some jurisdictions add on a 30% collection fee.

Anyway, as best I can figure, I'm up to at least 2600 bucks for 3 speeding tickets, 1 failure to show financial responsibility. 1 failure to show Driver's License. 1 No seatbelt and 2 expired registrations. These alone don't give you the 2600 bucks though. There's the failure to appears associated w/each violation and then there's the 30 dollar fees for each violation that gets charged by the authority to add your name to a database so that you can't get your driver's license renewed.

Basically I've got warrants shooting out my ass right now.

I was thinking about all this on my way to work yesterday. I was driving Tina's van because I've been sick and didn't want to ride my motorcycle in the cold. So anyway, I'm stuck in a traffic jam and need to get over from the left lane to the right lane. I signal my intention and this asshole trucker won't let me through. Where the fuck does he think he's going anyway? He should just let me through!

Finally I see a hole up ahead and so I get there and get across the lanes. WHOOOHOOO! Then, traffic crawls to a stop in my new lane and Mr. Asshole trucker from before creeps up. This time he's to my left rather than my right cuz I'm in the far right lane now.

So anyway, I get right to where he can see me and I give him a good bird. No sooner am I turning around in my seat to look in front of me [EDITED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY] Anyway...

So I get pull over and look at Mr. Assfuck trucker guy. He's laughing his ass off (makes sense right?) and then [EDITED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY]. Of course, I'm thinking "OH FUCK I'M FUCKED" cuz now we are gonna have to [EDITED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY] my ass is going to jail! Well Mr. [EDITED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY] And then he gets back in his car and like that...

it's over.

Well I didn't wait to argue about it. He's [EDITED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY], I'm [EDITED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY]! I didn't [EDITED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY]... nope... I got back in the car and literally got off the freeway. I didn't wait for the next exit. I just fucking went over the grass and got on the frontage.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Back!

Okay Okay Okay.. I'm lame. Basically I forgot my blogspot login information. fuck you... how's that?

So what's been going on since we last chatted? let's see:

1. I have been working a new job (at the same place)
2. I recently returned from a trip to Penang and Tokyo
3. ummm.... I remembered my blogspot login info
4. ummmmmmmmm......... My kids had their 6th b-day. Actually it was while I was in Penang, but we had the party this weekend since I'm back.
5. ummmmmmmmmmmmm..... my poker buddies suck cuz they won't move the game this friday night to saturday night to accomodate an old friend who is working friday night

I guess that's it for now. I'm just glad I remembered the login information.

I know you are too.